Musings of JR Simmang

DOUBLE, DOUBLE, TOIL, AND… YOU KNOW THE REST Three of them at "Oracles Den", a novelty, which made me feel uneasily like MacBeth. And here I thought they just left off the possessive apostrophe. “Welcome,” said the ugly one with the mole. “To,” said the one-eyed ugly one. “Your,” said the last ugly one, the one with the hunched back. “Futures,” they all said in unison. Theresa, my girlfriend, stood there, mouth agape but smiling at the women (?). I couldn’t help but chuckle. I whispered under my breath to Theresa, “just don’t ask me to kill a king…” She responded by elbowing me in the side. “Hello, ladies.” Theresa has always been fascinated with fortune readers. Last year at the carnival we stopped into no less than 10 different tents, each with the same archetypal psychics: flowing sleeves on patchwork dresses, stringy hair, wild eyes, voluptuous lips, missing teeth. I, on the other hand, couldn’t wait to scoot on out of here. They motioned for us to sit dow...

So, we (my wife and I) found out we are expecting a little bambino in March. I haven't said much about expecting a kid yet because I've been at a loss for words. So here goes nothing: 1) My wife is amazing. Brewing inside of her right now is a person, a person who will one day walk and talk, who will make friends and lose friends, who will have to make tough choices like whether or not to fall in love or stay home instead of walking the dogs. My wife is going through changes that would make me break down and cry. Daily. And yet, she smiles and laughs ... and is still ticklish. She's amazing. 2) I'm going to be a father, which I still can't wrap my head around. In 4 months, my child will be swaddled in my arms sleeping, pooping, eating, and then doing it all over again. I'm going to be pretending a spoon is an airplane. I'm going to be throwing a ball to expecting hands. I'm going to be giving the "birds and bees" conversation, yanking o...