A Kracken to Call Our Own

A light-hearted piece:

Quanahoc Island. 2014. The water is murky, cloudy, dirty, no doubt the intention of some dastardly plan.

I am submerged, isolated. Yet, I am the only hope for the planet. My captain, and only compatriot, has gone AWOL. I cannot blame him.

Oh the humanity. HUMANITY!

The water begins to boil underneath me. All over, tiny whirlpools dip and drop beneath the surface. I feel as though I am a salad being tossed by the sea.

The first tentacles wrap up either side of the boat, and the line drops. Water seeps onto the prow.
“No!” I cry. “Save yourselves,” I beseech.

There is a tug again, and I resolve I must-

“Ellis? Did you just shout something?”

-fight back!

I grab the shipboard axe, take a deep breath, and leap over the side! With one hack, I send a tentacle into the deep. That’s when I get a look at its face. IT’S HUMAN!

I’m splashing all around me, my axe slamming into the tentacles as a moth does into a light bulb! And soon the water turns into a sludgy slime.


The face of the monster contorts and writhes in agony. It grimaces and I swim deeper to catch it. The only way to rid the world of this disgusting deviance is to strike straight into the -

“Ellis!” The woman bursts into the bathroom. “Ellis, fortheloveofgod I thought you were drowning.”

I look up into her pleading eyes. “Oh, sorry mom. I was freeing the world from a horrible sea monster.”

She sits down on the toilet. “And making a decent mess of it.”

The floor is covered in slick bubble-water. Some of the bubbles were still formed and mountainous. Another story for another time. “Yeah, sorry. It’s dirty business slaughtering the world devastator.”

She laughs. “Well, hurry up, my little superhero. You still have homework.”

“Not the sinister villain Homeworkeo! I shall vanquish him to the netherworld!”

She fluffs my hair. “That’s the spirit,” and she exits.

I look down at my boat, which now seems an insignificant child’s toy. “Next time, kraken,” I mutter, and lift the drain stopper. The water slowly drains, and I dry myself off. Perhaps I’m getting too old for toys and baths.

-JR Simmang


Popular posts from this blog

The Light of Amorth (working title)

Parenting: An Idea

Aren't We All, Cont'd